The story behind the story of Life Lessons Learned. After several years of working for a company, a number of us were asked to work with an executive coach. That person shared that I should start writing down the pithy sayings associated with me. I started to transcribe them and add them to my website. This lesson came as the result of breakfast in Shanghai. Spicy food and fresh fruit are two of my passions. I was all in when I was offered watermelon rind in chili oil.

As a New Yorker, one learns to eat with chopsticks almost before one learns to read. I picked up the first piece of rind, gripping it tightly in the chopsticks, determined not to drop it on my nice clean white shirt. The rind flew straight up and landed on my chest. I sat there momentarily, recognizing there was a lesson in this. Gingerly I picked up the next piece, balancing it lightly. I ate it and left to change my shirt.

No matter how tightly we hold on to objects, concepts, or relationships, our need to control them rigidly may work against us. The old saying, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be,” comes to mind. 

If you are passionate about an idea or a business, you serve it best by giving it a range to flourish. The need to control every aspect doesn’t allow room for others to participate in its mission or value. Others either become clones of you, in which case you lose their diverse and fresh perspective, or you force active dissent (and get your shirt stained). 

What’s your experience?